You better put that work in.

Tags

America, black woman, blog, dream, family, funny, generation x, nurse, opinion, random, real, real life, relationships, venting, woman

Hello!!! IT HAS BEEN TOO FUCKING LONG! 🤔😑 I have not kept up to my end of the blogging bargin and I apologize. I have been living wishing and hoping, kind of stuck. Instead of writing down my thoughts like I jntended to when I initially started this 3 years ago, I just let it become another abandoned baby thought. I love to express myself. I however am also a mother and in a relationship that does require different degrees of attention. I had also started new jobs along my career path and now am in a bit more of a settling mode, so I feel free to return to writing.

I have been continuing to take in knowledge and learning and studying new things. I have expanded in my nursing knowledge as well and am embracing being a Vascular nurse currently. I however still felt like I needed an outlet. Alot of thoughts have flowed in and out of my head, and I have so much to verbalize that I feel as if my immediate circle gets tired of me commenting in everything in life. I find that as I am growing into my own “truth” I feel as if I need to share my whole life story. I mean sure, my journey into nursing is interesting, but can’t you get the same generic views from any nurse? So I have decided that I will share my life journey sprinkled with nursing instead. I shall start in my next blog.

I have been doing some self evaluations and some self help book reading. I am all along the right track mentally, as I have always been fairly open minded, positive and welcoming as an individual. I just physically have to match that mentality. Ever since I’ve had children in have kind of stopped the active portion of “fulfilling your dreams” and put myself into this zone of work, raise your kids, feed your man. Although if you can successfully do those things and feel fulfilled, that is all you need to do. Me though? NAHHHHH FAM. My mind kept racing to I was not born for just THIS. I love my children and boyfriend, but come on, I love me too. So blogging is my self love, my perfect communication, my mental paradise. Here I can freely write and express any thought on my mind. So why not put my work in ( like John Henry , remember his story? Love Ezra Jack Keats version, grew up on it.) and start from my beginning? That way maybe you’ll understa d why I think how I think. Maybe I have twinsies out there who thought or think like me. Maybe I can get good feedback on how to include other things in my world or personality, anything’s possible. I’m taking the advice I’ve learned thus far and it’s time to just do. Until next time my day 1s.

Estelle~~~

Why are you so dumb?

Tags

America, blog, college, funny, opinion, Race, random, sarcastic, school, venting

Well not really YOU persay, but The collective YOU meaning US. Now a days we don’t fact check, we let electronic devices dictate our functions outside of necessity, and we have a President whom has been subject of headlines since he crossed over into politics. We continue to eat food that we know is ultimately killing us, and we continue to pollute the only place we can live ( for now), our planet earth. Once born, as humans our fate is pretty much sealed by who our parents are, what color we are, where we live, our socioeconomic status PERIOD.  We can choose to leave positive lasting effects on the earth, but  they are usually not recognized until generations later, if we are killed , or if we can pay up. But hey we can be written in or out of ” history” if necessary. Truly what do WE really know? Unless we treck the world to figure out our story we will never know, we will always be DUMB.

….I’m back @$#%!

Tags

nurse, random

Well helloooooo oo there! Thanks to the mighty powers beyond me, and to my motivation: my 2 girls and to those who have helped me along my journey first and foremost. I DID IT! I FINISHED NURSING SCHOOL PASSED MY BOARDS AND AM NO LONGER A LPN BUT NOW A RN! That was the longest 2 years of my life but I have learned my strength as well as earned every accolade I have and will continue to strive for. I have always seen my name in lights in my head, and I will continue to strive. But anyyyyyywayyyssss. Back to this thing called life. I now am able to switch professions as I am what is called ” burned out” from the long term care settings. I am looking to learn as much as I can clinically and that just won’t do.

I lost my father back in February and feel as though through all of what is going on I continue to grieve. I feel as though he is at home a phone call away but then I go outside…..and I have his car……sober reminders.

Personal life wise….things are …funny. I am learning to laugh at things again because somehow along nursing school I lost my sense of humor. There is nothing funny when stressed and on the verge of breakdowns every semester lol. (See I can now laugh about that…out loud). My big 30th is this year…. and I want big things but I am wondering if I can make them all happen. Welllll….the blogs shall continue!!! Now that my humor is back and life is no longer hanging on the balance of exams……

Did you know that 80 year Olds are strung out on opiates as well? Not just the younger generation has a drug problem..randomn i know…until the next blog!!!!!

Nurse stella

Estelle

Tags

life, opinion, random

Well I  decided to re-visit the keyboard and write something about me.

I am a 28-year-old mother of two. I currently reside in Upstate New York, and I have for years thought about writing a blog to relieve stress and be creative, but this thing called Life presented challenges that did not give me time to feel free online and reveal anything. I am currently working in healthcare as a Practical Nurse and started pursuing the career of Registered Nursing last year, with 10 months and counting to go. I have been in the nursing field since 2009, thanks to the inspiration from my sickly mother, I decided that I wanted to make individual differences in lives, and have successfully been doing just that while advancing my career.

While attending school I re-kindled my passion for finding out about the world, people and my dreams. I realized that I was just “existing” in life and that I just continued to be safe in all my life decisions and in term, living my life as expected. But recently I asked myself, whose expectations am I living up to? I have always felt that my opinion was something no one but my immediate circle valued, and within the last 20 years of booming technological advances on the internet front, see that people become closer on the basis of opinions. I mean look around, if there’s more than one person with a similar attitude or opinion, usually there’s a group just for them. So with this line of thinking, I decided that I must not be alone in my many thoughts, fears wishes and earthly desires.

Now by NO MEANS am I a professional or even intermediate blogger. I’ve written a lot in my lifetime, but much of it being assignments, research and charting for my job. I decided to take some timeout of each day, or almost each day, and write a little bit to keep a record of my thoughts, see if anyone thinks like my writing, and vent to strangers who I HOPE will not judge me and make my life even more of a hell than I need. So let’s go for this ride eh? Oh no my Canadian side came out. Sorry folks, let the randomness begin.

❤ NurseEstelle

Woman, Nurse, Mother, FUNNY SARCASTIC CARING AND MOST OF ALL Human!

Why? UGH FRIGGING COMPUTER… OK OK its my fault.

Tags

black woman, college, dream, generation x, life, mother, newbie, nurse, nursing student, random, real, sarcastic, school, woman

Hello.

I had previously written a beautiful (..so I thought) first timer blog  entry, explaining why I decided to write, and gave a brief synopsis of me. Then in the blink of an eye *POOF* it disappears. OK, well maybe not poof, I accidentally pressed the x instead of _ to minimize the page, and I lost it. *Enters sad emoticon here*. I am so mad right now, but instead of saying ‘Fuck Blogs, Fuck the internet and Fuck writing’, I decided to just write in response. I am a 28, soon to be 29 -in-a-couple-of-days, nursing student, girlfriend and mother of two. I want to write in an effort to escape the pressures of Life and school, as well as to reach into my creative gut and start re-kindling the love of reading and writing that I know I pushed inside of my soul in order to conform to the standards of life and its demands. I live in a state many call New York City, but it’s really called NEW YORK STATE. Many New Yorker’s can relate, there is this huge ass state that when you say your from it, the first thing people think about is its $$ maker and attraction. I actually AM from that part, but do not currently( And haven’t for the last 16 years)  reside there. Maybe one day I can write  a blog of the not so liked Manhattan area I grew up in, but for now I will just say, no not the city , I’m an upstate New York-er.  I am choosing to write my opinions, thoughts life experiences, online in an effort to possibly spark the interest of others to spark their creative side, and to despite society’s conforming ways, always have those dreams you keep reaching for and working towards. I am in pursuit of a dream, and I Know I will obtain it….one day. Until then I want to keep a chronicle of all this shit that comes up in the pursuit of my happiness.

….to New Beginnings!

NurseEstelle ❤

Woman, Nurse, Mother, FUNNY SARCASTIC CARING AND MOST OF ALL Human!

Hello Internet, I’m ready for my 9-18 inch screen debut!

Tags

black, funny, life, mother, nurse, nursing student, opinion, random, sarcastic, school, venting

Hello. Although I am new to this world of blogging, I was practically raised online.  I grew up in the era of Oregon Trails and then dial-up AOL. So this idea of posting things for the world is something that I believe I am familiar with. I am currently a LPN in New York State and am in pursuit of my RN  only to keep going up in education , until I can call myself a Nurse Practitioner. Along this journey of learning and life I would love to check in from time to time and comment on whatever tickles my fancy. I am very opinionated and find that speaking my random thoughts to people does not always turn out how I would want it to ( feelings? what Your offended? Not my intentions…). Therefore I have started a blog as a hobby just to be able to feel semi-normal and vent.  I always had a passion for writing, I wrote many diaries as a child and at the age of 5 I wrote my very own picture book, that I wish I somehow kept through the years. So in an effort to reach down into my writing/reading soul, I will be very informal and randomly write to my hearts desire! I hope at very minimum SOMEONE enjoys this and becomes inspired to reach inside and pull their creative desires out and act.

With much nurse ❤

Estelle

Woman, Nurse, Mother, FUNNY SARCASTIC CARING AND MOST OF ALL Human!