Tags
blog, family, nursing student, real life, relationships, venting
Hello. It’s been a while since I have graced these pages with my keystrokes. I have been kind of busy with school and the little monsters running around my life called kids and work as well. Although I must admit I’m not working as much as I used to. But that’s neither here nor there, I’ll chalk that up to trying to study for school.
As I type my blog here today, I am in shambles on the inside. I have been stressed to the max because of my senior year of Nursing school and all its requirements. I have also been a stress mess because of bills, trying to maintain a household of 4 individuals, and also because I feel like I am alone when I have a grown ass man called my “boyfriend” living with me. The days of playing house are so old to me its ridiculous, and its gotten to the 5 year mark and I feel no progress with this man, and honestly he has fallen way below my expectations for our relationship.I have a child with said man however, and I do still LOVE the man, so here I am, a disgruntled blogger.
Now this is not the response I want ” honey you have to do what makes you happy and kids won’t make a relationship better” …..
I KNOW THIS SHIT. I consider myself a pretty well rounded woman, so I have been around the block as the expression goes, and I know what I can do and what may sound like the choice to do. But ……I also know that certain things are just non-negotiable in this day and age and I am not ready to just leave a relationship when I feel no moral wrongs have been committed 100% yet. No matter how mad, bored and annoyed I get, being an asshole man is different from being a lying cheating and douchebag man, and I must remember this.
So what is an asshole man?
He’s the insensitive forgetful, annoying dude sitting right there on your couch. He’s the one you cook for and have YET to hear a ” OH MY GOD YOUR AN AWESOME COOK”. He’s the dude that will not put his fucking clothes in the hamper. Yes , his underwear are in a damn ball behind the door. He’s the one…..who when watching the kids, thinks that saying ” GO IN YOUR ROOM” is keeping them at bay, while he iis playing his PS4. So why haven’t I left him?
He is also the man who teaches the girls ” If all the rain drops were cherry drops and gum drops…”. I was hella surprised when my 2 year old started singing that this rainy morning. He is the one who despite his asshole ways, will spend his last on you for your birthday , Christmas, valentines etc. Ugh decisions.
But when Hollywood and the media gets in your fucking head and makes you think that Mr. perfect is on the other side of that figurative fence, its easy to think ” I deserve better than this ASSWIPE!”. When instead, I should think, ” I’m glad this ass is still here and hopefully he learns to put the color clothes together instead of with the whites the next wash.
——-StElLa
Nurse Stella's Thoughts 